When one door closes....

So this is the post I have been procrastinating, but the one people have been waiting to read. Still not quite sure why it is so hard. It wasn't I that had to make such a life-changing decision. It wasn't I that had to leave behind everything and everyone familiar. It wasn't I that walked away from something that I excelled at. It was my daughter. My 11 year-old daughter, Karsyn. Maybe that is why it was so hard. Nothing is harder as a parent than watching your kids struggle, knowing that it is something only they can solve.

Karsyn started gymnastics when she was four years old in Versailles, Kentucky. I put her in a 30 minute class once a week to get out her wiggles. She was always climbing something or hanging upside and I thought the gym would be a safer place for that than the top of my refrigerator or my door frames. Before long, she was up to 2 hours a week. Every few months the coaches would inform me that Karsyn had mastered the skills at her current class level and it was time to move up to the next class. That meant longer hours and more days. After we moved to the NW I found a new gym for her to attend. The new gym put her in the class they thought she should be in for her age. I just laughed while I watched her skip around in circles for 45 minutes! Afterwards I politely explained to the teacher that Karsyn could do back walk-overs and maybe this class was not the best fit for her. The coach watched her for a few minutes and with an excited twinkle in her eye, moved Karsyn to her pre-team class. Unfortunately for her, Karsyn had to move to yet another gym when we moved to Washington 6 months later. It was a good move for anyone that was wanting to be a serious competitive gymnast. We found a gym that had two very qualified, ex-olympian coaches. They immediately wanted Karsyn on their team. At age 6 she started training with them 5 hours a day, six days a week. She went to school part-time, gym full time and tried to catch up on school work at home each night. By age 7 she started competing.

Karsyn did very well at all of her competitions. She got very used to standing on the awards stand at the end of each meet. It was a joy to watch her compete. She was so alive and so happy. Sometimes we worried that she didn't take it serious enough or was not competitive enough because no matter how she did, she remained happy and playful. Karsyn lived in her leotards. She wore them to school under her clothes, wore them all afternoon at gym, then slept in them each night. Karsyn never got tired of the gym. Once she made it to level 6 she began training about 33 hours a week. But that wasn't enough for her. She constantly begged me to pick her up late from gym so she could stay just a little longer each day. Due to longer hours, Karsyn had to leave public school and be home schooled. She lived for gymnastics...until the summer of 2010.

Karsyn finished up her level 7 year with a bang. She placed 1st place at half of her regular season meets, 1st place All-Around at the State Competition, and 1st place All-Around at the Level 7 Regional Invitational that included 6 states. While that was very exciting, I think it might have contributed to Karsyn's decision to quit gymnastics. Karsyn felt an increase in the intensity of her already very intense coaches. There was talk of skipping level 8 and competing at Level 9 next season. I think Karsyn put pressure on herself to continue at that level as well. All of these factors just started sucking the fun out of the sport for her.

She began getting sick to her stomach each night before going to bed. After about 3 nights of this I told her she had to be making herself sick by worrying about something. She then confessed to me that she didn't want to go to gymnastics. She was worried about taking it to the next level and said it wasn't fun anymore. We told her from the very beginning that as soon as it wasn't fun anymore we would support her in any decision. We agreed to try to work through it for 2 more months before deciding to quit. She had invested so much of her life to gymnastics and had such potentional that I didn't want her to make any decision she might regret. Well, two months came and went and after much thought and prayer, Karsyn made up her own mind that she would be done with gymnastics.

I went in to gym with her the following Monday to tell her coaches and team mates good-bye. I knew it would be hard but had no idea how hard it would hit me until that moment. The both of us just cried like babies. The coaches told us how much she would be missed and were very surprised by her decision. But her coach Miss Erika told me that she should not feel bad about her decision. She said all gymnasts have to quit sometime, usually by the time they are 18! That was when, for the very first time either of us heard it from their mouths, her coaches both said how talented and amazing she was. It would had been nice for her to hear that occasionally over the years she spent training with them but apparently positive reinforcement is not what they believe pushes these girls to succeed. After Karsyn cleaned out her locker and said her final good-byes to the only friends she knows, we just sat in our car and cried and hugged. But even then, Karsyn said she had no regrets.

In many ways my heart still hurts when I think this part of her life is over. But what made it so fun was not only that she was good at it, but that she loved it. When you take that element away, it wouldn't be the same anyway. I just hope that she always considers herself a gymnast. She gained dedication, self-discipline, strength, balance, coordination, self-mastery and a lot of really cool tricks through all her training! I told her she worked too hard to achieve all that and she didn't have to compete to keep it and apply it in all she does. As her coaches told her that day she walked out the gym, "you will succeed in anything you do now because of what you learned here".

It has been fun to watch Karsyn develop other areas of her life and personality post-gymnastics. She started taking some golf lessons and loves it. Scott loves it too! He is more than happy to use any of his free time taking her to the driving range for practice time. And guess what? She is dang good! Her coach is very impressed and several of the course golf pros have their eye on her. After her first lesson, the golf pro asked me if she did many athletics. I told him she was a retired gymnast and he said, "I could tell. She is going to be really good".

She has also discovered an absolute passion for baking. Her favorite new store is Michaels, particularly the baking isle. Her favorite TV show is Cake Boss and her favorite activity is destroying my kitchen and waistline.

Okay, so I only really cried once while writing this. That means I am making progress! I am just so in love with this little girl. I only want what makes her happy and the great thing is, is that I trust her to make the right decision. She is finally that completely carefree, giggly, goofy little girl that earned the nickname "Cuckoo Karsyn" again.