Golf Slang for Dummies

Where have all the true golfers gone?  It is a sad, sad day when a girl that has only golfed 5 holes in her entire life can out-talk a bunch of  golf -junkie husbands!  Apparently ya'll need some help or a translator to hang with me on my prior post, "Male Bonding for Fore".   Be grateful I take pity on you poor golf want-to-be's and take the time to teach you a thing or two.  Here is a direct translation of my prior post:

Scott took off with his buddies to golf at Bandon Dunes last week. It was gorgeous weather and they had a great time. I am glad they had a great time, I am just a little hurt he never even asked if I would be interested in going. I don't understand why he automatically thinks I wouldn't be interested in going. It's not like I don't know anything about golf - I have played 5 holes before! Just because I am a rabbit who likes to chili-dip all over the dance floor, (just because I am a beginner golfer who likes to have my clubhead hit the ground before it hits the ball on the green) I am not a complete Duffer (a bad golfer) who can never drop one in the drain (put the ball in the hole)! I am happy to say that I have never had a fried egg (when ball is semi-buried in the sand) or been in jail (when you and your ball are in serious trouble)! I admit I don't always know when to use a mashie (5 iron) over a mashie-niblick (7 iron), or even a spoon (3 wood) for that matter which makes me an obvious pigeon (somebody easy to beat). But I have to admit I do have one fine rap ( a firm putt, yes putt, not butt). And most importantly, I do know that a spike-mark (mark on the green by golf shoe) is way better than a skid-mark (not a golf term but might occur during a bad game of golf)!  

The funniest thing about this post is that only women, that have never golfed, had the balls (pun intended) to admit they didn't understand a word of it!